Asheville Birth and Postpartum doula, Jen Chandlee, advises to “Do Nothing” in the postpartum. (Photo by Helen Joy George)
Throughout my Postpartum and Breastfeeding class, as we weave through the many little things that are involved in taking care of new babies, I often ask a trick question: “What do you do if…”
What do you do if baby has a lip blister? (Nothing.)
What do you do if baby has acne? (Nothing.)
What do you do with the umbilical cord stump until it falls off? (Nothing.)
And so on, until everyone catches on to my tongue-in-cheek game. In reality, we are doing something – observing. We watch to see if the rash worsens with certain laundry detergent, or if the gassiness gets better when we stop eating dairy; we make small adjustments and then observe again to see if it’s working. As far as baby questions go, my answer is often something along the lines of “observe and interact”, a principle I borrowed from permaculture design. In permaculture, when we are planning to start a new garden bed, we observe the natural patterns of the sun and wind, the flow of rainwater, the temperature of the air and the ground. After choosing the best site according to those signs, we interact by planting seeds and nourishing them, watching how they grow and what they respond best to, however, we don’t force the seed to sprout. Observing and interacting in this way involves a lot of trial and error, and so does taking care of a baby and allowing her to develop in her own best way.
Like the many varieties of plants and seeds, our babies all come earthside with their inborn personalities and temperaments, individual needs and sensitivities. The more time we spend observing them and getting to know their natural tendencies, the easier our jobs can become. For example, if you begin to notice that your baby tends to nap every afternoon for a longer stretch, trying to make her take a longer nap in the morning may prove to be an exercise in futility. If she naturally falls asleep every evening at seven o’clock, keeping her up until nine might cause over-stimulation and more wakefulness throughout the night. I call this “capitalizing on baby’s natural rhythms,” and this can only be done after a period of observation, which can take some time.
As much as new parents wish it were so, there is no quick fix or one right answer that works for every baby and situation, and there is no method that works for everyone (and if someone tries to sell you a method- run!). Seeking out evidence-based information is important, learning the basics of breastfeeding and baby care is vital, and asking for the insight and recommendations of more experienced friends and family is invaluable, but in the end, what works for someone else’s baby may not work for yours. The magical solution for another mama might not be yours. By observing, staying present, listening to our babies needs and balancing our own, we can make our way through – one rash, one sleepless night, and one sweet, sweet baby smile at a time.
Author: Jen Chandlee, Birth and Postpartum Doula, Childbirth Educator
